Three dimensions (at least)
I’m almost through with a book recommended by a friend: “Third Culture Kids“. It puts a lot of things into words, which I grew up with. Made me look back and recognize some of my behaviours. What struck me as very interesting are the 4 possible categories (or as the authors call it: “relational patterns”) which describe the way 3CKs relate to surrounding culture:
- Foreigner (Look different / Think different)
- Adopted (Look different / Think alike)
- Hidden Immigrant (Look alike / Think different)
- Mirror (Look alike / Think alike)
So where do I see myself? In Japan I fit into the “adopted” category, although I stand out physically, I feel very comfortable (my first home?? my second home??) and have adopted many cultural aspects, without thinking about them (natural to me). It drives me nuts when I’m asked whether I can eat sushi (love it) or natto (nope, but my excuse is, that I’m from Kansai, where natto wasn’t historically part of the staple diet 
). Probably that’s why I may never live there again for a longer period, as it hurts too much not to be accepted as native where you feel so at home…
So am I a native in Switzerland? Nope, not exactly, which is why I see myself as a “hidden immigrant” here. I definetly blend in, but nevertheless, I’m different. Not always, but often enough. Being a native from the outside does help though.
When discussing this with Werner, it became apparent, that in Switzerland we’re actually in the same situation, both of us not feeling fully at home culturally (although we’re making this to be our home). Maybe that’s one of the reasons why we clicked immediately?
The book isn’t all about these relational patterns, but this is one part that really fascinated me. And reading made me realize once again how lucky we were to have a stable home, thanks to which I could profit from the experience rather than being harmed by it, as seems to be the case for some other 3CKs.